Mengatasi sebuah rasa

Konon katanya rasa kecewa itu muncul dari pengharapan kita yang terlalu tinggi. Menurut gue, bukan pengharapan yang terlalu tinggi tetapi rasa kecewa simply ada karena adanya sebuah pengharapan, titik. Gak peduli seberapa tinggi atau rendah pengharapan tersebut, rasa kecewa pasti akan ada dengan kadarnya masing-masing.

Rasanya sih seperti satu paket yang tak terpisahkan. Pengharapan dan kecewa selalu beriringan. Jadi, kalau sudah bisa berharap ya tentu juga harus sudah bisa kecewa. Kalau belum, mungkin lebih baik untuk tidak berharap apapun karena sekecil apapun harapan itu bisa dipastikan potensi kekecewaan akan muncul.

Gue adalah tipe orang yg takut jatuh dan takut gagal. Sedikit banyak gue juga takut kecewa dan takut akan penolakan. Kadang suka berpikir bahwa mungkin ini penyebab gue stuck dan gak bisa meraih mimpi-mimpi gue. Karena gue selalu berpikir dengan merasa bahagia tanpa kecewa sedikitpun saja gue sudah amat sangat puas :)

Nah, sayangnya dalam kehidupan sehari-hari justru sebaliknya. Gue mudah terlena atau istilah sederhananya gampang keenakan. Kalau sudah keenakan, feeling dan tanda-tanda alam selalu gue abaikan. Gue sering membiarkan harapan-harapan liar muncul satu demi satu tak terkendali. Then guess what? At the end of the day, gue tak jarang harus menelan mentah-mentah rasa kecewa tersebut. Kalau sudah begitu pasti harus melampiaskan rasa yang menyebalkan itu dengan mewek selama kurang lebih 2-3 menit, membiarkan tangan dan kaki berubah menjadi dingin, lalu bersembunyi di balik selimut sembari mengatur nafas serta emosi yang tak karuan agar kembali normal.

Cara itu sampai sekarang masih tergolong ampuh mengatasi rasa kecewa yang terjadi pada diri gue. Selain itu, gue selalu berusaha berpikir positif dan membayangkan kejadian-kejadian yang membuat gue happy. I have my own happy place that no one would never understand. Contoh simpelnya: membuka gallery photo di ponsel sembari melihat-lihat foto le mister dengan berbagai pose yang lucu dan absurd! Hihihi..

Kekecewaan mendalam sering muncul terhadap diri gue sendiri. Gue kecewa dengan diri sendiri. Why? Karena gue mikir kenapa bs sampai"lolos", kenapa bisa berani berharap, dan kenapa gagal melindungi hati dari rasa yang gak enak ini. Gue enggak pernah menyalahkan orang lain atau pihak manapun saat gue kecewa karena menurut gue (lagi-lagi), orang lain enggak mungkin bisa membuat kita kecewa kalau bukan kita sendiri yang mengijinkan. Orang luar enggak mungkin bisa ngacak-ngacak rumah kita kalau bukan kita yang membuka pintunya kan?

Oleh sebab itu, cara paling ampuh mengatasi rasa kecewa adalah berdamai dengan diri sendiri. Berdamai dengan hati sendiri. Menyalahkan orang lain atas perasaan kita sendiri itu buang-buang tenaga. Lebih baik menata hati, menata emosi, menata pikiran agar menjadi lebih baik kedepannya. Untuk siapa? Untuk diri kita tercinta.

Love,
Nada Salma

When dream meets reality

As you may all can see, there is a countdown on the header of my blog. Yes, it's a countdown to my new path. My wedding is on the way!

It is a very exciting experience for me and le mister as we have to manage all the preparation far away from our wedding venue. We will get married in my hometown, Jogja. Sometimes, I still wonder whether this is a dream or not. I couldn't believe to the fact that I am finally at this stage...

Every little girl around the world must have had their own wedding dream. What dress you will wear, what kind of roses you will use, what songs you will play and even what kind of food and beverages you will provide for your guests! However, those little dreams will be pretty hard to achieve because you have to deal with a lot of people.

Wedding is not only about me and him. It's about le parents and le mister parents, about traditions, and about the pride of big families. It will be quite hard to mix all opinions into one vision. We also face a generation gap that makes our point of view towards something is different with our parents. Then, at one point I realise that I have to understand their need and yes, I have to compromise and deal with it.

Sometimes, my ego said that "hey, this is my wedding, you guys should follow my rule,eh?!" but I quickly remove all my wild thought in order to keep me sane. Luckily, me and le husband to be have the same thought. This is why our preparation is still right on the track without any family drama-hhhh.

Wish us luck!

xx
NS

Be wise; The cruelty in politic

Few months ago, my future mam in law once told me that in a supernatural world, there are many levels of power and knowledge. Our people mostly need to start from the very first bottom layer. In this level, all they think is about money, existence, assets, and recognition. They could not directly in touch with the one in top level. They need someone who already in that level to connect them. Their connection isnt deep and strong. However, some people will act like they are an expert. Some people might not realize their power is too small but still think they know everything.

It makes me think that this is like a politic. Some people were too idealist for the sake of our country. They will try so hard to connect and gather with people in that area. However, politic is not that simple. I know nothing about politic but I know how cruel politic is.

This bunch of people are at the first or maybe second level class. They need connection to connect with top one. Once they could in touch, the one in top level will create an invisible boundaries. They will act as if they trust them and will gladly open up as well as tell 'everything' you want to know. Thus, this first level people will think that they have a lot of knowledge and become expert in this industry.

The fact is... No. They're wrong.
They will recognize them as 'friend' and trust everything. This will become tool to spin everything and they will become unaware that they are used by certain people to spread a misleading information among society.

One thing I learned from politic, never trust anyone. Never ever trust anyone, no matter what happen. Although they are in the same group as yours, your friends, your so called friends, and your enemies.

I remembered what Michael Corleone said in The Godfather, "keep your friends close but your enemy closer". This is exactly what those politician do in top level.

Please be wise and don't be too naive.
It's better if we act nothing and remain silent but investigate deeply through everything. A premature knowledge about politic will be dangerous if we act as an expert.

Regards,
Nada Salma
(A young woman who grew up in a different political view of a big families.)